Me:Lab

6 weeks experiment: Mass gain

2011-09-18T19:06:00.000-07:00

Here we go again - this time with a bit more focus and smarts (and appropriate dumbing down where needed.) Before the wedding I was able to successfully follow an incremental diet and exercise program that cut down on a lot of body fat while maintaining muscle and strength. This time I'm aiming at packing on some muscle onto my frame (a bit of fat gain is expected and unavoidable)

I'll look at it as a 6 week experiment and see if I want to change my direction after that time.

start: 9/17/11 Sat
end: 11/5/11 Sat

Goal: gain 2lbs a week ( total + 12lbs)
get 2 comments regarding gains (positive comments lol) getting a few comments about my fat loss was hugely encouraging
make gains on major lifts

Training: I have a few in mind:
5/3/1 "no rack no problem" variation (main lifts: deadlift, press, power clean, bent over row) 3 x a week
Starting Strength ( squat, press, power clean or deadlift)
Dan John (8-6-4 squat, power clean, press)
They are all similar in that they feature the best complex movements done with high frequency and aiming to add weight to the bar

Diet: eat big. nuff said. maybe do low carb breakfast and lunch to help minimize fat gain

Feb 2011 update

2011-02-15T19:49:00.000-08:00

- finishing up omnifocus trial on the mac. I already got the iphone version. I was skeptical on how good this program is from all the GTD/productivity fan boys raving about it but decided to put it to the test and so far so good! I'm still trying to figure out how I want to setup my system and what is the best way to customize it for my needs but my productivity and clarity has skyrocketed. Some of this can be attributed to a new level of mindfulness and motivation to be productive; some to actually writing down projects and steps (could be done on any tool). However, knowing that I am using the generally accepted "best" (and most expensive - the ferrari of GTD apps) shut the part of my brain that asks in the background (is there a better tool for what I'm doing?)

- another concept I've embraced (maybe i'm just drinking the lastest flavor of koolaid) is work is work... in the end all these systems, list, and advice is not work, only when you're getting your hands (and brain) dirty are you really getting work done and moving towards your goals. Not that I'm consuming no distractions, but now I catch myself and can at least identify what I'm doing

- people you are around makes a huge difference. Being around positive, hopeful, high-value high-character tends to rub off and make you a better person. Being around negative, poisonous, finger pointing and grumbling people does the same thing and sucks all the joy and energy out of your life. I've been asking myself which of 2 am I more like and it's been a good reality check for myself

- hurt my lats and it's been a multiple week recovery effort. For a few weeks I couldn't even sleep without pain (first dull, then more concentrated) and couldn't sleep more than 4 hours peacefully at a time. that really sucked and drained a lot of my energy and will to do physical movement. fortunately there is indoor biking which is low impact and even I can do with my 80yr old body lol

- listened to Gary Taube's "Why we get fat" audio book on the way down to portland and it summed up all the information I've been reading and digesting over the last 10 years up well and stirred up thinking on the topic in my head again. Seriously thinking about buying a copy for my parents or getting them the audio book. I've been preaching to them about the dangers of eating mostly carbs and the virtues of grass fed, animal proteins and fat and they are starting to take in more and more. This book may take it to the next level and explain in a medium level how overeating carbs (and mistiming it) can F us up.

- getting better quality sleep regularly... still pursuing this. I think a key is to stay active when I get home and try to be productive in the 2 hours that I come home. I find if I sit down and veg out a bit it is impossible to get started again and I just nap instead, which makes me go to bed too late. In order for me to be productive I gotta setup and define the tasks that I want to tackle... which may be some form of using omnifocus when I get home or even presorting the events on omnifocus iphone before coming home

- cooking is pretty fun when you are cooking for someone and thus motivated. Cooking for myself usually runs out of steam once I open a cookbook unfortunately...

- amazon prime trial is a great marketing /sales tool for amazon. after signing up for trial to get my Dad's birthday present shipped on time, I went on to buy multiple camera accessories after waiting and debating for years whether to get or not. Having 2 day shipping balances the need of getting a good price and the "I want it now" mental modes.

- having family, friends, faith, and a wonderful relationship is 90% of a great life. Having health, a roof to sleep under, and not worrying about going hungry is the other 8%. Rest is mostly small stuff.

2010 Final Countdown report out

2011-01-01T22:38:00.000-08:00

Before we move on to 2011 lets see how I did on the final goals.

1. [close out the goal I had at the beginning of the year at a easy-efficient to maintain home] Lots of cleaning and de-cluttering in the living room and kitchen. I 'm good to go for 2011 in terms of having a place for everything that is simple and easy to use (now hopefully I'll put everything in its place : 0 !)

2. [sleep 7 + hours a night during weeknights.] With the holiday gift shopping and travel planning this simply didn't happen during the time of the challenge when I had to work. I don't count vacation sleep hours. This will be a challenge to continue as I go back to work this week.

3. [stay active after work] related to post above, when I did have work I was able to stay up and be active afterwards w/o taking naps!

4. [lose belly fat] I took a decent dent out of the damage and I no longer feel disgustingly fat LOL First week made crazy progress with low calorie diet but it was too hard to maintain. Later on just counting calories I am maintaining about 1800-2000 calories a day. Proud that I was able to eat out in social situations w/o going crazy and pretty much adhering to foods in my "approved list"

In this past week have started Wendler's 5/3/1 program and following it fully. The lighter weights and higher reps were a welcome change and I think with the added conditioning work this will continue to take me where I want to go in 2011.

Total scale weight loss was just 2lbs in the end but the effects were greater than the number.

5. [eat less but better quality (food quality + food prep)] Yes very mindful of what I buy and have been getting higher quality stuff including a lot of grass-fed and other natural stuff. Got a very nice knife and other kitchen gear for Christmas so will continue to cook more this year!

6. [set up a system for use that includes daily journal/recap style, food log, workout log, memories, goals, habits, etc. ]

- daily log (spreadsheet)

- workout log (spreadsheet)

- food log (temporary - fitday)

- book/article notes (devonthink)

- learning/observations (devonthink)

- goals (devonthink with duplicates online so I can check from anywhere)

- goals support (zenhabit forum, edison experiment forum)

- photos (flickr - both for public and for friends... have it setup now)

[That's it. Mostly I'm focused on health and energy (though getting more cut is always good : ) and hope that this final countdown challenge will set up up for an awesome 2011!] I think I achieved a lot of the things I wanted and got a lot of value out of this short-term challenge. Besides the benefits from achieving some goals it is also a great positive and confidence boost to start 2011!

Dec 28 check in

2010-12-28T14:20:00.000-08:00

1. easy to maintain home: I was at a comfortable before heading out of state back to my parents to spend Christmas. Will be back home tomorrow so will probably finish 1 or 2 small projects (outdoors mainly)

2. sleep 7 + hours a night during weeknights. with me on vacation this one is on hold.

3. stay active after work: before I went on vacation was active after work. Pressure of gift shopping, attending certain scheduled social events helped motivate me to stay up and be active.

4. lose belly fat: I took myself off of the low calorie count a week and half ago... as much as the hunger was hard it was the weird obsession I developed with food (everything seemed damn delicious and I thought about it all day) Now that I'm off any type of calorie or food type restriction I'm still mindful of what I eat and am at a maintenance point where I'm feeling a lot better and looking better than when I started. I think the last few days I can hunker down and add a couple HIIT training sessions to burst through the finish line.

5. eat less but better quality (food quality + food prep): have kept up eating slower and enjoying my food more. It has been a bit more difficult being with parents as I dont' have the control over foods served as I do at home.

6. I have a good routine setup that seems pretty efficient and covers what I think I would want to record down. Gonna try it a few more days before I comment on it.

Day 4 - progress

2010-12-16T22:28:00.000-08:00

1. Kicking butt. been active around and outside the house catching up on maintenance items and re-enforcing housework habits (is it sad that I was overjoyed to find Martha Stewards big book of Housekeeping at the library today?)

2. No. This one only lasted for 2 days. Haven't been going to bed on time due to going out for dinner or from other active stuff... any social event pretty much destroys this goal when you have to fall asleep by 9-9:30 to make it.

3. Yes. Been using fitday to keep track of calories. Being never one to track calories I was surprised by how fast certain things add to your totals (fats, simple carbs, condiments), how much protein is in meat (I didn't know the serving sizes before : p ) , and how much vegetables you can eat without impacting your calorie total : D. Though I'm not feeling mental energy loss or low mood, I am taking a lot longer to recover from workouts. Food also appear much much more appealing and delicious than before when I basically let myself eat whatever I want. I enjoy this, where food is something that can get me excited instead of somthing boring. I am thinking about going a different path and increase overall calories (but not carbs from non-veggies) which would be balanced out with more recovery ability to workout more. hmmm I'll try it for one more day.

4. Have been doing this and enjoying all the food I eat. Ate out today to celebrate friend finishing his finals... had a small pho and was really satisfied when I finished... huge difference from before when I subconsiously equated huge portion as more enjoyable (sometimes my jaw gets sore before I finish a meal because I'm chewing more and not just wolfing things down)

5. Yes have been doing this! staying off the computer or rather not being mindless on the computer has helped. Now when I am on the computer I am actively seeking to learn a specific thing or answer a specific action related to one of my FC goals.

6. yes, more on this later.

Great progress and focus... can't wait to see the changes once the 18 days are up!

2010 Final Countdown

2010-12-12T20:06:00.001-08:00

So this is nothing new. Some sort of milestone comes up (end of the year, birthday, certain event is coming up, etc etc) and it is the last few weeks. As I look back at all the things I wanted to do that didn't accomplish, my mind dreams up a lavish scenario where I go all-in and make some extraordinary habit change or reach some goal. This year is no different and I am eyeing the end of 2010 (18 days) as a time to accomplish some things I didn't get to this year.

Here's what I'm thinking:

1. close out the goal I had at the beginning of the year at a easy-efficient to maintain home... I have implemented a lot of maintenance routines this year and taking care of the house is a lot easier. There are still a few areas where I need to hunker down and get automatic at doing (taking care of dishes and keeping fridge contents fresh, garage and outdoor sweep...)

2. sleep 7 + hours a night during weeknights. With my schedule this means going to bed by 9:30pm : 0

3. stay active after work: goes along with the previous item where I usually get only 5-6 hours sleep weekdays and end up having to take naps afterwork, which again sets up the cycle of going to bed late : (

4. lose belly fat: I'm maintaining about the same amount of exercise and eating roughly the same diet as years before (arguably more consistent intake of veggies... ) but I'm getting fatter... especially the belly-fat that has a high correlation to risk for various diseases in men. Since my plan for workout is totally not working (not enough sleep = not enough energy/motivation) I'm going to have to rely on diet to help in this department. In the past low-carb + restricted calories work but is hella hard. Gonna try it again. Eat the same stuff for breakfast (omelet and veggies), same stuff for weekday lunch (protein shake + greens + fats) and stick to mostly meat and veggies for dinner (gonna allow some rice on days of workout) This also allows me to play around with paleo-esque stuff and see if I notice anything after the challenge if I eat grains. goal is 1400 cals/day. probably keep a detailed food log for first week.

Also will allow myself to eat out in social situations... just continue to apply mindful eating, eat less, and order stuff in compliance as best I can.

5. eat less but better quality (food quality + food prep): straight out of Michael Pollan's books. along with eating less I'm going to enjoy my food more: buy grass fed, healthy looking organic produce, take time to cook and season and prep, enjoy the experience, and take my time to enjoy the food I'm eating. I've already started paying more attention to my cooking and eating since november (greek cooking night!) and it is reshapping the way I enjoy food.

6. set up a system for use that includes daily journal/recap style, food log, workout log, memories, goals, habits, etc. I have worked on this over the years and think I'm close to one that I can stick with next year (backpackit, google docs, omnioutliner, paper, flickr)

That's it. Mostly I'm focused on health and energy (though getting more cut is always good : ) and hope that this final countdown challenge will set up up for an awesome 2011!

December 2010

2010-12-08T16:26:00.000-08:00

- super tired this week. I need to exercise some discipline and get my sleep in. With my schedule I feel like it robs me of my natural prime state (night time after the streets quiet down from rush hour) and kicks me out of sync with everyone else schedule. I gotta put up some boundaries and just say no to some social and organizational obligations for a while to rejuvenate... can't function optimally or enjoyably with so little rest

- eating more mindfully and thus enjoying more of what I eat. sadly my tiredness robs me of self-control and I have been eating some fast food after work (but I am eating the junk food mindfully : D yummm fries )

- I hate the couple hours after getting off work. super tired but if I nap it'll ruin night sleep and continue the zombie cycle; if I stay up I don't have much energy or desire to do anything productive, the natural light is dimming and indoor light has a dim orange glow... the whole thing is just depressing as hell.

- clean house clean house... everytime I get started cleaning I get into it and do a pretty good job. it is the mental battle of getting started that is the killer

- thinking about goal tracking this coming year... new thoughts and simple ideas to implement

- proposed! now have to plan wedding. alot I don't know about yet but feeling excited about planning it with my fiance (hopefully the excitement stays or at least I don't go insane : p )

- thinking about a model for change or productivity... like a car. goals and direction is like the road that takes you to your destination, discipline and execution is the steering wheel that keeps you on the road, and energy (physical, mental, and motivational) is the actual fuel that makes you move towards the destination. right now I need a lot of fuel (sleep, mental energy, etc)

- last couple week have been cooking more. Fiance and friends had a cooking night and I was inspired to do more. Roasted some pork loan, ribs, and a chicken. again, it takes the initial bust of energy to get things cleaned up and chopped, but once I get going it is pretty easy. I'm also inspired by all the cookbooks my fiance bought me... if I didn't use them I'd feel guilty!

November Rain

2010-11-07T18:50:00.000-08:00

- dang it has rained a lot in the past couple weeks. I absolutely love it! I've always had a thing for rain; maybe it is how it makes everything cozy by filling in the sky or because it is the original and ultimate "sound of nature" soundtrack. Whatever it is , it is making me : D a lot lately.

- Been reading about paleo diet, metabolic typing, gluten, etc etc lately and trying to pay more attention to how I feel after eating certain foods (premise of the metabolic typing... I didn't buy all the metabolic typing stuff but just paying attention to how I react to food made sense). 2 weeks ago I did it for a week and couldn't tell much difference between meals of different macro-nutrients. I decided that sleep and other factors might be more influential.

now I think differently. During that week where I monitored what I ate I was conscious of what I chose to eat so naturally I ate more veggies and made better carb choices (not much flour, mostly rice if I ate non-veggie carbs). Saturday I went out with my gf on a all day trip and ate lots more carbs from flour and sugar, and that same evening and the next day or two my left hips and knee acted up. Similarly, my parents visited this weekend and I ate lots more carbs of the worse variety and sugar, and this morning I felt like groggy crap including foggy mind, short fuse, and having the hips and knee act up again. I think it might be caused by not eating well... which can prompt inflammation or whatever other bad reactions are.

This week I'm going to go clean with my diet (no gluten, mostly veggies and meat) and see if I can return to the clear mindness and non-irritable moods I had the previous weeks (oh yeah and no frigging joint and muscle pain!!!)

- it is still hard to get motivated to be active at home. it is so easy to just be lazy... I totally need to get out of the house (at sbux now) to jumpstart doing something other than watching netflix or surfing...

Random thoughts to leave with:

- Bainbridge island is a great day trip.

- having fantasy basketball definitely brings out the stats geek and strategerizer in me that otherwise would still be locked in the basement. Thank you Jonas for reminding me to join this season.

- People can look like they are doing perfect on the outside but can be doing just as crappy as you are on the inside. be more empathetic and give people the benefit of the doubt

- Oregon football... thank you... people say why the hell are you a ducks fan when you went to UW? 11 years head start will do it. in the end I just don't have the same passion for Washington as I do for Oregon.

- I need to take some self-defense classes or order some knife fighting instructional videos... lake city and u-district are scary places

Recent Updates

2010-09-12T20:28:00.000-07:00

It's been awhile since I last posted. Bullet point recap

- settling into work but still enjoying it. I think mainly it is the mindset which you approach it. The people you work with also has a HUGE impact.

- As I get older I get less of a "Power Distance" (talked about in Outliers the book) with the people I work with and the other adults/authorities in my life. One I think is I'm loosening up on my cultural values, two is influence from the people I work with, and three it is going through a period where I had to do a lot of examination of people around me didn't act as I expected. I think I'm way more vocal in expressing my opinions and not afraid to question other's views.

- Been a lot happier this year (2010)... haven't had much anxiety attacks and overwhelmed by tasks and time... a lot of it is letting go of unrealistic goals for life and also letting go of old-grudges or trespasses from other people.

- Went to Hawaii for labor day weekend. Didn't really do much in terms of exciting tourist attractions, but realized again that people and relationships are so much better than that stuff.

- After going through a period of mild sleep apnea and breathing congestion, now feel ok. Was it a freak thing or because I've been eating a lot better (lots more veggies, less junk food)

-

Been Busy - want to start up blogging again

2010-05-24T22:35:00.000-07:00

- after my break from work... found work at my old company again in March. It is in a different location though and the commute feels a lot better. After taking time off I feel like I have a whole new perspective and am able to deal with work, other people, and my own human weaknesses better.

- Roomates are moving out so I'll have the place to myself by the end of the month. While they were good roomates ultimately living with people requires compromise and some rubbing of elbows. With it being just me I'm free to set up the place to suit my habits and lifestyle routines. Already I have cleaned the living room and kitchen. I am especially proud of the kitchen where I was able to apply my work principles and optimize where I put things, etc to make prep/cooking/cleaning super fast, efficient, and dare I say it, fun!

I was also able to move my computer setup to a separate room from my bed, so I have a distinct place to do personal projects and focus work and where I go to unwind and rest. Super AWESOME.

- Been really busy and tired... been having some health problems too (weird stuff with my eye and maybe allergies? ) Still starting to get a grip on things that I generally fall behind on and procrastinate on (bills, finding doctor, getting service work such as for car or dentist... financial planning and investments) I think I am mustering up more willpower and energy after throwing away alot of junk and minimizing clutter around me. It is amazing how much stuff I have... most of it I don't need at all or rarely use it...

- been cycling and working out again. When I started working I stopped and got creaky and out of shape fast. Now I'm back in a good groove and will try to maintain my resistance workouts in addition to biking (signed up for STP so no turning back!)

- since having my own office been able to record more of my goals and plan projects. Also have been able to actually see the spreadsheets I'm working on on the big monitor and been recording interesting metrics on progress on various goals. Setting up measurable and actionable daily and weekly targets and tracking them is a powerful tool. At the end of the week I'm able to see if 1) I made my targets and 2) if the desired effect was achieved. If 1) is false then I'll have to adjust expectations or somehow make it so I can successfully comply with the behavior target. If 1) is true and effect was not achieved, then I have to modify 1) so it will more successfully achieve effect if followed.

- I've been writing about making a workout plan and I actually did it. It is in a google doc right now and I have a few friends testing it out. I'm also trying to use it on myself (though obviously I've internalized it throughout the years). Keeping a log of how I plan my workouts following the template and hopefully it will be helpful to my friends. Later on I will publish it here.

I need my own program

2010-03-26T09:36:00.001-07:00

Since my last post I got a new job and found my energy and time sapped away. What wasn't taken up by the job went to other areas of focus, mostly taking care of a few projects related to starting the work routine again (fixing car, establish daily habits to make sure I get to work on time and with decent sleep the night before, updating closet with work clothes, etc)

I found my motivation to go to the gym and work hard lacking. I still managed to get 2-3 sessions of exercise a week but I just wanted to get in and get out. In these times I turn to a few exercises, which I know are big bang-for-the-buck exercises and a few rep ranges that I know will at the least maintain my level. In this past month I only spend between 15-30 minutes in and out the door each session but have seen no drop in strength or endurance levels. I saw increases in my deadlift but that is because I am just starting to do that movement again (stopped for almost 1/2 year due to knee injury)

This is great because I am following the same template that I'm writing out for my beginner's exercise program. The template is designed to be simple and easy to grasp, customizable, and gets the most results from the little time you spend at the gym (in and out in 30 minutes)

Overall though I've gained some weight though I've kept up exercising and walking more at work. This is due to eating out A LOT! There were a few weekends with people visiting (and my birthday weekend : ) ) where I ate out for 2-3 meals a day. This got me into the habit of eating greasy food and sweets and worse of all in huge portions.

Being tired and busy from work and other projects left me with little focus and willpower to pay attention to what I eat. Fortunately I kept good shopping and food prep habits which kept the situation from totally melting down.

Site to help people start out

2010-02-22T00:14:00.000-08:00

I was thinking more on the idea of helping people start into fitness. I'm sure there are many people out there who want to start exercising smartly and reaping the benefits whether it is fatloss, health, or whatever.

What is the biggest challenge for people starting out in anything? In this age and time I firmly believe it is information overload, especially when it comes to fitness and nutrition. So many different flashy programs, fad diets, infomercial products, how is one suppose to start?

I believe that is why P90 is so popular. It is an all-in-one program that covers all you need to do for exercise as well as guidelines for nutrition. It has enough flash and impressive (to newbie eyes) before and after pictures to make you believe it can work, and it takes the thinking out of exercise (plug in dvd and follow along) The most important thing I think is that people believe in what the program promises and it is delivered in the comfort and security of one's own living room; no trips to the gym where intimidating iron monsters roam or where you have to wear shorts to reveal your thunder thighs.

I'm more motivated than ever than to put together a free site offering common sense and easy digest guide to how to start working out. I'll organize a simple customizable system with templates that is easy enough to get into, yet gets people to think about how to program. It is aimed at teaching people how to fish rather than giving them a fish. I'm just pissed off that there are so many people who want to do the right things but are given crappy advice or programs. (do 7 hrs a week of any moderate exercise and a person WILL change... but 7 hrs week not needed nor realistic to maintain for average person)

I'm going to start a list of articles and how to organize it. It will comprise of teaching basic bang-for-the-buck time proven exercises for different movement patterns (push pull vertical horizontal upper lower total body), basic templates on how to organize a circuit, and some basic methods for how the workout is run (example do rounds by time, or by reps, etc)

I will be emphasizing simplicity (not complex), efficiency (eliminate waste in time and effort), and effectiveness (results!!!) in a framework that people can apply immediately and build upon as they grow in experience and knowledge.

As I plan this I'll be experimenting with more workouts and fine tuning the templates and tempo. Also I need to get a six pack so people can "buy in" to the system and actually follow it with enough intensity and duration to see some results.

dang I'm pumped up!

Did I mention this is going to be free?

My view on fitness: Moderation and Customization - turned into p90 rant

2010-02-20T23:33:00.000-08:00

I first got into fitness towards the end of high school, when somehow I had the epiphany that I can educate myself to eat and train to be buff and athletic. I had been chubby and slow all my life so this was a revelatory breakthrough in my self-image and my mind's map of how my world is.

My eagerness to learn, lack of knowledge, and teenage stupidity meant I inhaled in all the big promises and half-truths from different training methods and gurus. I was always looking for the next program or theory that sounded good. Dan John put it well in his article :

"My point is that good advice has been cast at me throughout my career. I tend to ignore it when it comes in a simple package. Now, if you slap some color on it and fill it with bright images and make it seem exotic, rare, and remote, now I'm listening! "

In my early years I bought into HIT, Pavel's stuff on deadlifts, sidepress, and high-rep snatches, anabolic diet, keto diets, warrior diet. I was filled with enthusiasm and applied what I learned. I lost some non-functional weight and gained a lot of strength from where I began from.

When I went to college it was a new discovery as I had access to a weight room for the first time. I immediately worked on the bench, squat, and other lifts. This time I applied the 5 x 5 method and steadily increased the weights I lifted.

Unfortunetly, my efforts and commitment didn't seem enough. Usually after a 2 or 3 month period of consistent workouts I would either a) work out less, lose structure in my progressions, or stop working out at all b) get hurt or reaggravate back injury and be forced to stop

despite my stop and go efforts in working out, I kept up the reading part. I spend way too much reading t-nation and various other forums for my own good and have see the raise and fall of many fitness trends.

As I am older now and tried a lot of different methods, I realized that everything works to a certain point, and a lot of it has to do with choosing the approach that fits a person's goals, motivation, and life situation best.

In the end I believe moderation and an open mind is the best approach. Lay people who don't know much about fitness often have an extreme view - something like reduce calories + hours doing cardio = health and fat loss.

On the other end there are internet fitness geeks who have their own extremes confirming to what the experts are recommending at the time or what they form based on limited information:

heavy weights good all the time
High intensity interval training or circuit and complexes are vastly superior to steady state cardio. Cardio is total crap and you are a pansy for doing it
isolation exercises are crap
one piece of equipment is the total answer (kettlebell, TRX )
you need supplements and exact nutrient timing (fast carbs and protein around workout, carbs in morning)
supplements are total BS - in fact diet doesnt matter just train hard
"you can't out train a bad diet"
carbs are evil except from veggies

My views are that the above views can be true depending on a person's goals or situation, thus qualifiers need to be given. Example if a person does not have heart problems and limited time, then HIIT may be a good match for them versus cardio. Not paying super close attention to diet and just trying to eat healthy may work for people who would immediately fall off the bandwagon if anything more complicated had to be applied.

It all comes down to your goals and how much you are willing to give to get the results.

For most people, I would guess their goals for working would boil down to:

look better (lose fat, gain muscle. How much depends on person's sex or initial state (overweight or too skinny) improve posture and confidence)
function better ( go up stairs carrying groceries without having to catch breath for a minute; be able to run a charity 5k; participate in rec league sports without embarassing oneself)
better health (heart health, injury prevention, bone density )

Most people don't start exercise because they think it is fun. I hope that as people start exercise, no matter if it is just by walking around the block or following some 6 minute abs video, they'll come to enjoy the activity and the connection it brings to your own body. Hopefully they will seek to exercise more and learn different ways of doing it.

I am starting to lose my train of thought, so I might as well go all the way and smack you with a new idea. I talked to friend that I haven't seen for awhile and found that she was doing p90x and insanity. This makes a total of about 6 people I know who have started doing p90x in 2010.

Now I think it is great that people are exercising and trying something different than doing 60minutes on the elliptical breaking 100bpm HR. I also like that P90x seems to have a lot of different challenging exercises and keeps the speed up. However, I hate hate hate the fact that they are forcing people to do hour long workouts. Whenver I try to help people who are starting to work out I'm lucky if they have time for 2 sessions a week. These people who are commiting an hour a day to these workouts really want it! that is AWESOME!

I just wish there was something else other than P90x that they can follow along with. I mean, any program that gets you to add 7 hours a week of exercise is bound to make some difference in your body. Is there really not other easy to access form of workout education for people who are committed to change their bodies? How about complexes? How about cranking up the intensity and trmming the workout down to 20 minutes 4 times a week? I'm happy that there is P90 to help people get off the treadmill but I wish it was better....

I don't mean to deflate people's bubbles but I feel like these people who are working their ass off and dedicated to reaching their goals have a more efficient and up to date way to achieve it. There is so much better stuff out there (not in as slick and easy to access method) that can be used. I dont' want to get into my beef with P90 so I'll refer you to Begin to Dig's article on it.

Ok I found my point. Any program will work if you work hard and are consistent. It is more important to pick a program and believe in it than waiting and waiting for the perfect program. When I stuck to high rep snatches I saw so much gains though my programming wasn't great. However, I want my friends and other people to believe in a program or methodology that is more perfect than P90. It's like people are flooding to the new fancy chevron when you know there is another gas station down the street selling gas for 1/2 the price and you want to tell your friends... but the cheaper gas station doesn't have as big a billboard or the employees there look more intimidating so most people don't even pass by.

Shoot this should be a business opportunity. I should buy a flip and just film a set of 30 minute workouts including warm up, mobility drills, and a hard intense body weight workout. I'll used timed work sets same as P90 x so people can watch and follow even if their fitness level is different. I won't waste your time with stupid isolation exercises for circuits that barely train your muscle and increase your heart beat by 5 bpm. To do this though I need to get a six-pack first because no one listens to you if you don't have a six-pack (if you are male. Females can get implants and men will listen to you) Maybe if I don't have a six-pack it will appear less intimidating. C'mon, not ripped asian guy? what could be less intimidating?

Ok I'm getting tired. I had originally planned to link to articles that I totally bought in at one time or change my view on things. I'll save that for later.

There is also some exciting body weight exercise that I'm doing again but I'll expand in a future post.

Lastly, tonight I found a workout buddy... well not really becuase we live in different cities... but we'll be corresponding and helping to check in progress and adherence on each other so I'm excited about that.

one more week till end of Feburary. Last push to lose more bf%.

Making Adjustments + new stuff I'm learning

2010-02-17T16:02:00.001-08:00

Lot of things happening since my last post. The team of friend's birthday party, social events, Chinese new years, and Valentines day came together and kicked my diet's ass. Have been eating a lot more unhealthy carbs and fats but damn if they weren't delicious.

Despite all that eating this weekend I find myself not craving those processed foods, sweets, or other naughty items. It is strange, it seems like eating doesn't really bring me that much enjoyment, or rather it is not a source of temptation for me. I recall a similar effect from my previous diets where I don't really crave any food, especially processed or low-grade foods which taste particularly artificial and gross.

The only way I can go back to eating unhealthy at this point is losing the mindfulness of what I put into my mouth - getting back to old habits because of laziness. I really can't see myself going back to the old diet because of taste or cravings at all.

Interesting to note that my body weight is stable at 139lb even after the weekend binge. I attribute it to my activity level. I have been steadily increasing the intensity of my lower body workouts and can handle a 20 minute bike interval where I perform five 2-minute intervals at about 80%Vo2 max estimated. Starting Monday my knee felt frigging fantastic and I was able to walk normally as well as go up AND down stairs mostly normally. Taking my dog on walks is a nice and relaxing activity that will definitely add to my G-flux.

With these new thoughts I am going to try a more carb cycling approach. Carb cycling is basically modifying the amount of carbs you take each day in conjunction to the type of training for that day to maximize the different responses of the body to carbs and other macros. This would mean I would eat higher carbs (not unlimited or "dirty" carbs mind you) on workout days and less on rest days.

As I read and learn more about diets and our bodies I believe less and less in the concept that carbs are evil. I was already convinced that veggies and fruits are alright, but lately I am also including stuff like oatmeal, some rice and grains to be ok. This is from personal experience how adding more carbs to my diet made me feel and perform better while not dropping me asleep with insulin surge. I also believe that a lot of the magic gains from carbs are because people cut out the garbage that they eat (which mostly comes in carb form! ) and also reduce overall calories (either through eating less or eating more protein, which has a lot of benefits)

In other news I'm still figuring out are warmup sets. I've tried a lot of different warm up exercises aimed at mobilty, activiation, stretching, and the like and am forming an opinion on them. However, I am giving all the exercises a few more weeks because there is a learning curve and sometimes the good stuff doesn't appear or register until you've done it regularly for a period of time. One thing that I can conclude is that activation exercises to help ramp up the nervous system is GOLD; I can tell the difference when I do them versus when I don't both by feeling and by numbers. Stayed tuned for my conclusion (for now) on what are the money exercises for warmups are at the end of this month.

Fat Loss 3.0

2010-02-10T15:48:00.000-08:00

This is probably the N-th time I'm trying to lose fat and get shredded, but I'll just call it version 3.0 because it is the third major approach I'm trying.

1.0 - Around the year 2000. Tried low-carb ketogenic diets but it was impossible as we ate rice every night (I was in high school and living at home) Eventually switched to the Warrior diet and really liked it. I shed a lot of body fat from it and liked the extreme mentality of it. Training was Pavel inspired and did a lot of high-rep dumbell snatches. Eventually i got hurt from doing deadlifts + bad form on swings... stopped training (common trend over my training experience)

2.0 - Get Shredded diet by Dr. Berardi. Had read about other low-carb diets, fat-fast extreme diets, etc but finally took the plunge as this plan actually looked reasonable. It didn't look too hard but it was tough, and extreme as the article warned. I remember being hungry a lot but again enjoying it somewhat as I was doing what most people aren't or can't do. I stayed on for 2 1/2 weeks and saw changes in the mirror every other day. Eventually I gave in to a few non-compliant meals for social reasons, and soon it turned into a full out carb craving and I was off. Training was weights + interval sprint training.

3.0 - This time around, I started again with Dr. Berardi's Get shredded guidelines. One major change that I have developed over the past month was including cardio in my training. I have always hated cardio and came to fully embrace the trend of interval training/circuit training/complexes for fat loss. However, I hurt my knee this past december and can't do much weight bearing with flexion with my left knee, which basically means no intervals or complexes (take away sprints, runs, squats and you are not left with much) I am able, however, to do stationary biking at a light level. I thought if I had to do cardio for rehab, I might as well try to learn about it more to see how I can optimize it to burn fat or gain aerobic power. As I researched more and more I realized that cardio actually does have a lot to offer, and high-intensity intervals are not the golden answer I thought it was (explain more in future posts)

I am coming off a bulk phase (In two months went from 132 - 144lbs) where I didn't eat that cleanly. I gained a bit more fat than I liked, but was pleased with the muscle and strength gains (I had never carried through bulking more than 5 lbs before)

My goals for Feb. and March is to drop to single digit body fat (see some abs) while maintaining muscle and strength. The main weapon is of course the diet, with 3 heavy lifting sessions and a good dosage of low-intensity cardio thrown in. I am trying to not get the muscle-loss paranoia that many weight lifters get, mainly by trying to reassure myself of Dr. Berardi's recommendations on BCAA supplementation and also reminding myself I don't have that much muscle mass to begin with : p

I started on Feb 1 and while my diet and program is not fully dialed in yet, I have gone down to 139lbs and looking visibly leaner while keeping my strength levels. The first week was tough as I felt hungry and tired most of the day. Going to try taking tyrosine and jack3d before workouts, as well as making sure my pre-workout drink is taken.

One additional factor that poped up in this version is attention to saturated fat. Whenever I go on a diet I make the excuse that protein is good, and I go nuts on foods like eggs and red meat. Well, today I took my blood pressure at bartells and was shocked I registered a 143/79. The 143 is hella high and is considered stage 1 hypertension....not good. I am going to take another reading later today but it was enough to shock me into learning and watching the quality of protein source that I take in (less eggs and fatty steaks : ( )

Book Review: Change Your Brain, Change Your Life

2009-08-14T21:42:00.000-07:00

About 2 months ago I went to Barnes to read. Barnes is one of my favorite escapes because I love to read and browse and it doesn't make me feel guilty because I'm learning. I was going through a period of feeling anxious, unmotivated, irritated, and just overall crappy. When I went in I crossed path with a gentleman holding a book with the title in large and bold font: "Change Your Brain, Change Your Life" I'm usually skeptical of these types of self-help type books but this one intrigued me. I found it in the psychology section (step up from the self-help section) and started reading.

The book gave overviews of different areas of our brains and what symptoms results if those areas are malfunctioning (ADD, depression, etc) It follows each overview with a list of things you can do to combat those symptoms as an alternative to using drugs.

Reading over what each brain area does and the corresponding problems was therapeutic in itself. There are checklists of problems (such as " do you have hard time following up on tasks" "avoid confrontation" ) stemming from each brain part's malfunctioning which was fun to do as I got to think for a moment "omg I have xxx disorder, that's why I'm so friggin messed up! It is a miracle and testimony to my talent that I got this far even with xxx disorder" Reality comes in and I think most people will have some of the symptoms, but not to a large enough degree where it is a medical case. Still, reading case studies and stories of how people get better from the symptoms was reassuring and comforting.

Here are a few interesting or application points from the book:

- When certain areas of your brain become over or under active, problems can arise. This means that to a degree your flaws are not your fault. However, you can learn simple techniques to fight against these mental flaws (simple, not necessarily easy)

- One of the key basics is to be aware of your thoughts and feelings. What is the voice in your head telling you? When you recognize it as a voice and not reality or the truth (though it might be), you can start to monitor and take control of your mind.

- People have differing amounts of ANTs: Automatic Negative Thoughts. This is the voice that immediately interpret things to be negative, predicts a negative outcome, assumes the worst from other, and makes up worst-case stories. Recognize the thought and think it over with logical facts and kill the assumptions. Simple and effective (but not easy to take the time to do)

- People with ADHD crave conflict in their lives because that is the only way for certain regions of their brain to be stimulated. Don't get sucked in as their conflict stimulus.

- Listen to classical music. You all heard of the study where listening to Mozart makes kids score higher on spacial reasoning tests. This also soothes your brain's rhythm, perhaps due to the order and structure in the music.

- Aromatherapy does work. Strong emotions and memories are controlled by the limbic system. When this system is overactive negative emotions tend to flood. This system is directly linked to the sense of smell and scents like lavender can help restore the system to normal operation. This is also why scent is linked to memory.

- Interesting story of why the author collects penguin figures and items. He asked a penguin trainer how the trainer got a penguin to be obedient when he can't discipline his son, who is much smarter. Trainer said that he gives praise and attention whenever the penguin does something good, unlike fathers who only pay attention and scold children when they do bad. This is almost conditioning them to act bad just to get attention (even if it is negative attention) Nothing earth shaking but putting it in the story it made me think if I am conditioning the people I am around...

- Interestingly, people-consciousness is controlled by a certain part of the brain. One non-drug advice is to remember the 18/40/65 rule. When you are 18 you think everyone is looking at you/ when you are 40 you no longer care about what people think of you/ when you are 65 you realize everyone was so busy thinking about themselves they never thought of you anyways

A good easy read that I enjoyed. There is also a section on how drugs alter your brain but I didn't read it. Part on violence was interesting.

Plus:
- Provides overview of brain functions and how it corresponds to different personality disorders.

- Provides positive hope that people can change

- Helped me understand and be more patient/tolerant of others... not that this provides enough information or I'm foolish enough to think I can diagnose them. Everyone has some type of problem and certain functions are more difficult for different people.

- Helped me understand the role of different types of therapy and drugs to aid people.

The Insensitive Advantage

2009-06-04T15:33:00.001-07:00

I'm thinking insensitive people have some big advantages going for them:

- There are less factors that they take in to consideration before they make a decision - which leads to more action. Sometimes taking action, even if it is not the #1 best option, beats paralysis-by-analysis and no action.

- They are bound by less social rules and etiquette (the degree depends on how insensitive they are) so they have less internal restrictions in doing what they want.

- They are less aware of how other people feel and how their actions affect others - less restriction to do what they want.

- They're not aware and therefore unaffected by how others see them - they can do what they want.

Disadvantage is that they can tick people off and in extreme cases be seen as a jerk or prick. Advantage is that the insensitive one doesn't realize other's see him that way and therefore it causes no mental unrest for them. This is only disadvantage when others treat them less favorably then people they like.

Maybe sensitive people can learn to "dumb down" (perhaps "numb down" is a better term) and free themselves from excessive thinking and worrying about social rules and hurting other people and give themselves the "insensitive advantage"

(Time + Space) or Quality of Environment?

2009-05-27T23:29:00.000-07:00

I've always been curious of why my energy levels raise and when they fall. At certain times my positive energy is just overflowing and I'm able to operate with amazing clarity and focus. At other times, I feel totally drained and my brain goes on a negative death spiral.

One of the factors is definitely my state of health: how much sleep I had the previous night; (perhaps more importantly) the quality of sleep; how my diet has been; exercise.

However, despite getting all the health factors rights, I still experience ups and downs. These usually occur in certain patterns:

High energy/clarity - early morning, late evening, in clean and organized spaces, outdoors

Low energy/clarity - mid morning, mid afternoon, late afternoon/evening time (this one is killer), around clutter, noisy environments

There are probably a lot of information out there on our bodies' "clocks" and all the different types of rhythms and patterns... but as I look through my list I notice it is not so much the time or space but the fulfillment of a few requirements by the nature of my personality.

* I have most energy when it is relatively quiet (early morning/night)

* I have most energy when I can accept the place as is instead of struggling mentally to want to change it - this means having things organized at home or being in spaces where I accept not being able to change it (friend's place, store, etc) Interesting that at night i see my place less clearly so I am able to overlook any mess and focus fully on task at hand

* loud environments sap the brain juice out of me (afternoons filled with commute sounds, loud parties/events/people) For things that take no brain like sporting events or action movies loud is alright with me.

To maximize energy levels I need to spend most of my day in high quality (for me) environments: low noise levels (sonic) and low noise levels (mental unorganized-ness)

Of course, being in low-quality environments can't be helped (the dreaded afternoon commuting hours) At these times I should give up on trying to do anything requiring intense focus and do more "dumb" tasks like house chores or go walk the dog.

The 4-year cycle

2009-04-22T21:31:00.000-07:00

High school: 4 years growing from young punks who think they know everything to taller young punks who they they know even more...

College: Starting to get more serous... thinking of picking the right major and getting the right internships and setting path for the perfect rest of your life... still developing sense of self (unless if they're too busy getting drunk)

1st 4 years of work:

What is the first 4-year cycle since graduating college suppose to be? The "worse" and "best" time of your life is supposed to over already (high school and college) It is hard to remember but I think my image of this time period is one where you're working hard, exploring different things, still only semi-responsible and having fun, and exploring what you want to do with your life.

Looking at my friends I see two main groups: those who pretty much stuck with the job they studied for and those who switched from different things or are working while applying to Grad school.

Those sticking with the same job have moments of excitement and freshness as they progress or are given more responsibilities. Ultimately it sounds like it is a boring and dreadful fate as they'll likely continue on the same path for 30+ years (probably not at the same company, but doing the same type of work)

Those moving around either have more exciting experiences from change or freedom from doing less-demanding non-career jobs as they aim towards grad school or other continuing programs. This too brings with it hope of a better future.. either being immersed in studying and learning about the topic they love (or love for the $$$ it's suppose to bring) and gaining a degree or certificate that would open up more doors for them.

I think the defining trait of this period is that there is no certain path or guidance. In high school you have a schedule and your attendance is held accountable. In college you have more freedom but you still have the majors and subjects and curriculum to keep you "on track" Once you leave into the real world there isn't anyone to hold your hands anymore. Each path you choose is up to you to discern and the consequences fall squarely on you.

There are amazing opportunities to be taken due to the relative lack of responsibilities such as family to support, home payments, etc... yet that is easily crushed by looming questions about savings, job security, health care, making rent, and so on.

This time kind of sucks - but when I think about it life kind of sucks, and it could easily be a lot worse (why am I sitting comfortably in my room sipping on juice and typing on computer when some people don't even have access to clean water?- I should just shut up but I don't think I will)

Time flies and this June will mark the 4-year cycle since I've graduated. Typing it out it sounds like it passed too soon; yet thinking about all the experiences I've had it seems like a long time. Have I grown wiser? Am I a better person? Are my dreams and hopes crushed by the pressures of the real world or have I always crumbled like this under academic pressure, only I don't remember it? So many questions but I don't think they are meant to be answered... life just kind of passes and you wonder about the same things in a slightly different way at each stage of your life.

Natural Energy levels and Natural Interests

2009-03-03T18:31:00.000-08:00

I wonder if our energy profile fits with that of our natural interests. A person who naturally enjoys reading in solitude would have lower energy levels. A person who prefers something more active and thrilling would have higher energy levels.

It would be terrible to be the person who thirst for adventure only to find themselves stuck on the couch because they are too tired from work, or the over-hyper person who wants to be able to enjoy fishing or bird-watching.

Or maybe we've settled on our interests based on our energy levels. I'm always tired but thats ok, I seem to like less intense stuff, and often I like to be by myself (or with my pets)

Night of Darkness: Morning Light

2009-02-28T08:32:00.000-08:00

A few years ago I did some searching and found the name of an event that occurs time and time again: Hour of the Wolf.

This is when all your fears and worries grow exponentially and threaten your very sanity and survival. You lie crumpled up but sleep doesn't come to deliver you. You can try to defend yourself using logic and intelligence but it is no match for the overwhelming emotions and panic.

Funny I actually found this term from a fitness site editorial. For a good read on the topic go here. (pg-13)

The amazing thing is when morning comes... the fears shrivel back to their normal self and everything doesn't seem so bad.

Maybe this is our unconscious self's way to give us a kick-in-the=pants and get us to tackle some of the problems that we face in our lives. Maybe it is a push in the back to get ourselves out of a bad situation that we've just given into.

Post while I am Sick and Tired (no, really)

2009-02-25T20:03:00.000-08:00

some random post I started writing... getting sick and tired but managed to take some photos somehow..
--------------
Combination of work and getting sick and dark weather is keeping energy levels down. Tonight felt especially bad... so tired and unable to muster excitement to do much.

Is this life? Slaving away at work just so you can plop home, feel like garbage, think about how you can escape someday when only you have more time and energy to exit the gravitational pull?

People w/o work are probably stuck in a different cycle, but likewise feel like garbage.

Somehow I managed to get the camera out and took a few pics. More surprisingly still I wasn't too lazy to actually upload the pictures, process, and upload them. Now I'm even writing this long "Description".

What is it that you like to do... I guess I llike taking pictures of abstract stuff.... it makes me happy even if no one else likes it. If the secret is just to spend a lot of time doing things you like, why is it so hard?

Asylum Escape - Leaving the Horror of Work Behind - Part 1

2009-02-24T19:55:00.000-08:00

Past models of looking at my job as a job served me well. My work didn't define who I was and I itched to get out of work so I could spend time with people and do things that were meaningful and rewarding for me. Fast forward to the 2 year mark and I find my self not only stalling, but falling. Somewhere along the line I lost the enjoyment of time away and I started looking at my job as a career.

My boss, along with most of my leads, customers, co-workers are go getters. My boss always talks about and gives tips to increase your visibility and to increase your influence and skills to get yourself to manager. It seems like everyone around me itches to move up and be important and one day be managers. I'm never good at lying and I've always told my managers I don't want to move in management path; I just want to do my job, avoid the drama and politics, and go home after my 40 hours.

Well, as the first paragraph says, somewhere I got caught up in other people's ambition and the unspoken social pressure to stay long hours and to do things that wasn't me. It was a downward spiral because as I started spending more time at work the more I was in that environment which pressures me to work more which exposes me to the environment even more!

When you are in midst of a miserable situation often you just focus on your own stress. I think most of us have a voice in our head that enjoys beating ourselves down more and more by only noticing how other people seems to be always happy and devoid of all the crap that we go through. I just notice how everyone else seems to be doing so well and handling everything so effortlessly... why do they seem so natural in the stupid corporate system?

I believe for everyone there is a comfort zone, outside-your-comfort-zone-but-constructive zone, and "what the heck are you thinking?!?" zone. It is good to push yourself and be pushed outside of comfort zone to test your boundaries and to grow. However, when the new limits don't seem to get more natural but instead drives you lower and lower, it is time to evaluate and perhaps conclude that it isn't for you. Cows weren't made to fly and Pigeons weren't made to provide milk for human mass consumption. Gotta find your strengths - which will naturally feel good and open up positive energy for you (thats as far East as I'll go)

I've been laying low and trying hard to stay away from the drama and controversy at work... scratch that, I've always done so but felt guilty that I'm not buying into the team and career perspective more. I sure do feel a lot better though and have many more moments where I find myself lost in work - in a good way!

Freeing myself from other people's dreams and goals also allowed me to see things from my perspective again. I noticed how other people are frustrated, overwhelmed, and feels out of control too (actually many of them are worse that I was even when I was down : o I saw an email from my master project manager sent 6am on Sunday morning. I was joking with her about it and she admitted there was some big development that was up in the air and she couldn't sleep all night.. end up getting up early and working. Another girl that was promoted recently is now stuck in a lot of meetings and required to status a lot of things. Her hours have also increased.

Me? I've been pretty productive and I've left early these last two days. Not by much but when you consider most people stay 30 -60 mins extra thats a great start. When I leave the building I have the biggest smile on my face. It is especially big when I leave before other people AND I know I've done al that I can do for the day.

First part of escaping the horror of my work is to break myself out of an unnatural view (for me) of work and shifting back to my natural perspective on it. The next part in this installment probably will deal with actually how to do the work and be able to leave on time.

Back on track

2009-01-28T17:06:00.000-08:00

2 weeks ago woke up and had pain around my right hip area. Not a big deal I thought, let it warm and loosen up and I'll be alright. WRONG

end up in severe pain and had to go to emergency room Friday night. Stayed in the hospital until Monday and they fixed me up. Luckily no major long term effects. I took it pretty well and wasn't too stressed about my condition or the hospital bill (save me medical plan, save me please!)

It was actually very refreshing. Basically you just lie on your bed until they wheel you away to the next test. Nurses come once in a while to take your blood pressure and to draw some blood occasionally. It was nice to have visitors come; you start to see people in a different light in that setting even though before you probably see them every week and take it for granted. Alot of time to get away from work and stress about my future... yes I don't see it as a setback at all.

Well I guess my exercise and diet plan kindof got screwed up. With people buying me food and such have been eating worse but now starting to amp the good food levels back up. I can tell that there is a energy and mental clarity difference when I'm eating healthy and when I'm eating junk... definitely prefer the energy and better mood good eating gives me.

But yeah... being in the hospital and readjusting my views and value of people in my life has helped me not get so absorbed in work and stress over it. From that perspective you start to laugh at the many small things people freak out or argue about. At the highest level I suspect you'll begin to have an aura of other-worldiness that they can tell (not lazy but not so invested in the mini battles and petty politics)

so here i am... still trying to improve myself and correct bad habits... but with a renewed sense of hope and a freedom of knowing I already have so much around me.

Bring it on 2009!

New Year New Thoughts

2009-01-11T18:02:00.000-08:00

As much as winter break was anticipated it is now long gone and we are into the 2nd week of 2009 already! Since returning to work I realize how much I hate it... the office politics, adults who whine and point fingers instead of taking responsibility for their actions, the managers and co-workers who have only eyes for promotions and getting more visibility, the lack of long-term planning and application of common sense in favor of ground level(and rotting) fruit and yielding to the management goal of the week.

I am totally fed up with work and at my limits of endurance. I can no longer put up with all the arrogant and self-centered people around me; I want desperately to get out.

One could say I'm crazy to think this was in the recession, but my intention is not to quit this job to find another one in another office hell hole (I know the grass isn't greener in the other side) My plan is to quit work, then take time off to develop my skills and self-learn. It is like how people quit work to go back to school only I'm not paying money for it. I want to do this because i) I learn best by myself. In college I skipped 70% of my non-attendance required classes (lectures and such) and often would learn on my own as I tackled the homework or when I studied. Sometimes I would learn something during a test when my back was against the wall and I am ferociously applying myself to the formulas and questions. ii) I have too many things I'm interested in to focus on one major (which would probably nail me to another typical job after I graduate and had loans to pay back)

So my major goal this year is to get out of my current job. Of course I want to do this to give myself a chance to experiment and develop ways to make a living doing what I love. At the worse I fail miserably at everything I try or realize I don't have the focus and willpower to make it and have to find another job, even if it is working at McDonalds or loading package cars for UPS (imagine myself like Peter from Office Space doing construction at the end lol )

With the new year's start I'm again back on track with my diet and exercise. I suffered a knee injury so I have been avoiding lower body workouts. Going to slowly work those back in over the course of January and hope to start squatting and deadlifting again in February.

Book points

2008-12-14T17:46:00.000-08:00

I've been reading a few books lately and a few trends and patterns show up.

- Talent is overrated. Many people who are good at what they do have reached this level through hard work and many hours put into practice over the years. The true factor seems to be the amount of time spent honing the skill and also the quality of the"practice.

- In different fields there is often a minimum requirement that has to be met in order to "play" However, once this standard is met success depends on many factors. ex. need certain IQ to make it into MIT, but once you meet the requirement to get in higher IQ doesn't equate to better success.

- It takes a long time to get really good at something. Some say it is 100,000 hours of work to become master or elite level.

- success also depends largely on circumstance and opportunity offered.

- Culture and background makes a difference, as does social upbringing.
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Too tired to do anything

2008-12-08T18:52:00.000-08:00

Just got home a little bit ago after having dinner with friend after work. After long day and sitting through traffic I'm tired, unmotivated to do anything, and in grumpy mood.

One of the things I was thinking about and striving to was spending time doing activities that I enjoy or toward things that would help me get better. On paper it would seem like it is easy to spend an hour or two a day towards productive activities but again and again I find it is damn hard.

Am I more easily tired out than other people? Do I have less will power? I don't know but mustering the energy to get going on something that takes effort seems impossible... is this why people get stuck in their jobs b/c they don't have enough fuel left at the end of the day to break free?

this sucks...

Work - fun?

2008-12-04T19:35:00.000-08:00

At work today I reminded myself that "I'm enjoying this; it is not too much to handle; it is not stressful" and believed it. Towards the end of the day I even stayed late to finish up some data analysis that I got really into - this was something that some co-workers started but doesn't make sense to me (I knew their version was incorrect ) and I wanted to verify myself and find the truth. There was a few things that made it engaging and "fun" for me:

1. I wanted to prove my point - to win

2. I wanted to find out more about the reality of the situation - curiosity

3. It was something that tested my technical skills, but not so far outside of my current capability that it felt hopeless - reasonable challenge

4. It was an area that I had built up more experience over the last month - confidence

5. I believed that it was important to do it and it would be useful - meaning

6. I knew it would help me learn and grow - value

Now that I've identified some factors in what made this data analysis "fun", how can I apply these same factors in other things that I do at work or even at home to make more "fun"?

Getting Rid of Stuff

2008-12-04T18:42:00.000-08:00

As I'm here at my desk looking over my finances to see where I can cut unnecessary expenses, I just realized how much stuff I have.

Computer, big monitor, lamp, pens, white board, picture frame, book shelf, bed, electric piano, books... and on and on.

all the metals and plastic and material around me... it is mine. What did I do to deserve all this stuff? How much of it do I really need?

suddenly I am filled with a sense of excess... the feeling to get ride of a lot of the stuff around me is great. Firstly it is in a selfish sense where I want to have less clutter... but another it is from a feeling of being absurdly abundant while many others are less fortunate. I can donate a lot of my clothes and books and other stuff that is still useful.

time line... I have none... haven't really thought about it much but that a lot of things around me are crap or that I don't really have use for. It would sound cool to say "I'm going to get rid of half my stuff" but realistically I think something like 25%.

The tooth that crumbled my world

2008-11-30T17:35:00.000-08:00

about a month and half ago I had my wisdom tooth taken out. Somehow I was born with only 1 wisdom tooth, and it was on the upper so it was easier to take out.

The operation took only 10minutes, and I didn't really feel sick or anything. That same night I went to the gym and played basketball... no problems. I probably overdid it though as the next week I was physically sick (headaches, body aches, tired, congestion, etc) and felt like crap.

I have always been moody and have times where I feel over anxious about things or situations - but during this month or so I thought for the first time I might have depression. I felt demotivated, unable to focus on tasks, tired all the time, cranky all the time, felt useless to change my situation, didn't want to hang out or talk to people, didn't want to do any hobbies, lost appetite - most of the days waking up and facing the day was hard and when I get home I just want to go to sleep. I was really down and thought a lot about why we live life if this is it... I never thought about taking my own life or anything like that though.

One night I woke up from a nap feeling like crap again and decided to look up information on depression and to see if I have it. I found some info for herbs that might help and went out to buy some st. John's wort. I also ordered some ZMA which in the past have helped with my quality of sleep. I also started to care about what I eat again and added more veggies and healthy food to my diet.

Things started to turn around after that and I've been feeling more normal. It may have been from the supplements or diet, but I mainly credit a change in attitude for my "recovery". I've been thinking positive and mentally checking myself when I start to get negative or down on myself. I use my logical brain to keep blasting away against the emotions and crappy feelings and it has helped. I celebrate every little improvement and victory throughout the day and I let my failures go.

I guess after all these experiences I realize too much planning and being anal does no good when the core issues are not addressed. I want to change the direction of this blog from more posting plans to more of a retrospective reflection on my observations as well as a place to develop my own theories and connection of ideas.

1/2 Update - Imaginary Coach Training Progress

2008-10-14T23:28:00.000-07:00

So it is a little over 2 weeks since I started following Joe Defranco's Westside for Skinny Bastards training template. The premise of the program seems to fit me so well – I need a lot more muscle and strength! I am appealed by that this is the template that he uses with a lot of his atheletes… it is actually amazing when you think about all the coaches out there writing articles and giving example templates of their programs. Ofcourse most people have no idea what the hell they are doing or don’t have the discipline to follow through on their own, which is why those coaches can stay in business (while still sharing their methods) So, if I follow the program closely it would be sorta like I’m trained by a coach that trains pro NFL players!

In my last post I recognized my flaky track record and aimed to just get in the gym and try to follow the program w/o focusing on the results. So far in these 2 weeks I've gone in to the gym 5 times and did one lower workout at home... so 6 weight training sessions out of the prescribed 8. This is a great start for me as in the months prior I went as "frequently" as twice a week.

So far I'm loving the split template. I feel like I can hit each workout with more intensity and be able to recover at a quicker rate. Before I did full body workouts comprising of 3 compound lifts... which left me sore and drained for days and days afterwards. Full body workouts were too much beyond my work capability to recover from at my current level. I feel fresh during each workout and will post improvements at the end of the month.

My Imaginary Coach

2008-09-28T20:01:00.000-07:00

The internet has made it possible for mass communication and information sharing. This has definitely helped in getting the word out on elite coaches and teachers. In a field like training, coaches has only so much time to train X number of athletes before they reach their limit. How does one continue to expand or bring in more revenue after they have hit this limit? Sharing their knowledge either through books and videos, or sharing the information freely to promote themselves.

It is amazing in this field how much free information is out there if one takes the time to search and read. Despite all this information out there, coaches will never run out of business because one cannot replace the one on one teaching and customized teaching - plus the facilities and equipment provided and the motivation.

For the weekend warrior type though, there is more than enough information out there to get one to elite - amateur level... provided you can muster enough of your own motivation and discipline in applying the information out there.

I've always bounced back and forth between different programs that I have read - while inconsistently going to the gym due to bad habits in time use and energy management. This month though I want to stick to ONE program - Coach Joe Defranco's Westside for Skinny Bastards 3. I'm attracted to this program because I am a skinny bastard - too little muscle and too weak. My purpose for training is to see how much i can improve strengh and speed wise.. and this program definitely has those goals in mind.

I will also be adhering to John Berardi's nutrition principles as mentioned in an earlier post entitled "automatic diet"

Again if you have read my previous posts you know I'm very flaky. My goal this month is to simply adhere to the training program and nutrition guidelines and let the behaviors produce whatever result comes ( I think if I adhere to both diligently I can make some HUGE changes... before and after pics and measurements to come at the 1/2 way mark and at the end of the month)

Real Change - what does it take?

2008-09-26T23:17:00.001-07:00

I've been hesitant to write more posts on this blog as I feel a certain guilt in not being able to implement the changes I write about. I've always been into reading about new ideas and systems and try to pull strengths from each into a single cohesive plan.

The theoretical and planning part I have down - I enjoy doing it so it doesn't tire me out, if anything it energizes me. The part that I've always had a hard part with is the execution, or the doing part. Perhaps I over think things so much by the time I'm executing the plan I'm already re-evaluating if it was the right plan. Another thing I struggle is dealing with doubt or weaknesses in a course of action; there can be no perfect plan and as the designer one is painfully aware of all the drawbacks and weaknesses, which can be crippling. Yet another simple explanation is that I'm so ingrained in my current habits and routine I don't have enough motivation or action "juice" to make the change.

Though I never really followed through on my previous posts I'm going to keep posting because I enjoy coming up with plans for solutions. Getting myself to follow through on a plan on action is a journey on itself and I would also like to document my progress here.

Measuring - the missing link

2008-08-28T22:02:00.000-07:00

Looking back a lot of failures in personal projects came from a lack of focus and signals to trigger the new behaviors I'm trying to implement. Consistently applying a new behavior is hard and near impossible unless there is either enough a) motivation or b) a smart reminder system.

Using motivation to fuel change only works for certain things that I am really passionate and fired up about... and even things that are initially very motivated will eventually level off. Using a smart reminder system is the safer route to change.

For awhile I used a daily checklist to keep tabs on certain behaviors that I wanted to do that would lead me closer to my goals. Items included checks for "write in journal for 10 minutes" or "packed lunch for work". It was simple and quick to record b/c it was just a piece of paper lying on my desk; there was no multiple clicks to access any files or web pages to navigate.

Why did I stop using it? One or two days of forgetting to check off items led to the fall off (I guess I needed a smart system to keep track of filling out the smart system ; ) Anyways I am going to use the simple check chart again to keep tabs on some of the habits and behaviors I'm trying to implement now.

Automatic Diet

2008-07-22T20:06:00.000-07:00

Starting out...
I started working out back in high school. I was small boned and was what you call skinny-fat: "normal" size but comprised mostly of fat rather than muscle.

The school gym wasn't always available and to be honest all the athletes and jocks in there was a little intimidating. I started reading online and started running and doing pullups at the park. Eventually I bought into kettlebell hype from Pavel over at Dragon door and ordered one.

Thought kettle bells are a little overhyped by it's advocates, it is nevertheless a great training tool and through a combination of overhead presses, pistols, and pullups I managed to pack on some muscle to my frame.

Current State
Fast forward to now... I haven't worked out more than 2-3 times a month in probably 1/2 a year. Though I haven't been lifting regularly, I still manage to keep some muscle shape through my diet occasional weekend sports event.

Currently I have habits installed through my college and early work years to where I eat good sources of protein daily. I also avoid sodas and recently have added a lot more vegetables to my diet routine. A typical meal at home for me is some kind of stir fry/soup with meat and spinach/frozen veggies (one pot cooking).

I always have the goal in mind that I want to push myself to train to the next stage of strength and gain some muscle weight. However, realistically I am too tired and drained by work and my social group demands that I can't really devote much energy to it.

Automaticize
Here is my new approach - automatic (well, at least low energy) diet. Having my diet choice habits ingrained throughout the past years makes maintaining my current state pretty much automatic; weight and fat gain is pretty much impossible unless if I exert conscious effort to increase calories or eat more junk/carbs.

If my current level of habits can maintain me at ok state, what can a new set of habits get me to? I envision with the right habits I can easily cut down or take in enough calories and nutrients to maximize muscle gain on any weight training program.

Nutritional Habits I already own:

Including Protein in all my meals
Not drinking calorie containing drinks (except sometimes a little cream in coffee)
Avoid eating large amounts of carbs
Include veggies in 90% of my meals (at home)
take 8 - 12 fish oil caps each day
Drink multiple cups of green tea at work
Post workout drink after workouts
Eat mostly unprocessed, whole foods.

Most of my knowledge about nutrition comes from reading the works of Dr. John Berardi. The habits that I do have are mainly influenced by him and you'll recognize most (and then some) from his list of 7 habits.

Here are 3 new behaviors that I need to learn to truly make reaching my nutritional goals automatic

Eat every 2-3 hours (pack easy to eat meals night before, set reminders on calendar)
Avoid overfeeding on carbs at night time (have better food choices available)
Record what I eat (start google docs spreadsheet, read article on portion estimation)

6 week Goal and pupose
My 6-week goal is to gain 6lbs of muscle weight in 6 weeks. I don't have any accurate way to test bf% so I'll give myself a pass if I gain 6 or more pounds w/o looking noticeably more huggable. 6 weeks (from last thursday) is roughly when the college school year begins giving me a solid point-of-reference and enough time to implement this plan.

7/24/08: 131lbs
9/4/08: 137lbs or more

why do this?
1. make it easier to control one aspect of my life: what i eat and when
2. healthier eating to offset stress levels and being tired from lack of sleep
3. challenge to self examine current habits and loops and change as needed
4. jump start to achieve long-term fitness goals - haven't really progressed in this area since graduating college

next up: thoughts and plans on training

Trying out Remember the Milk

2008-06-13T11:20:00.000-07:00

I have read GTD and the many articles and blogs related to the idea, which promises a state of stress-free and relaxed productivity that is very attractive. The problem was whenever I try to implement I get stuck in the stage of designing the system, which ultimately brings a lot of mental stress before I even try using it.

Today I decided to try integrating some sort of GTD/organization system again. I credit the observations from the Zen-to-Done (ZTD) series of articles from Zenhabits in giving me renewed hope and excitement in trying it out.

I logged on my old Remember the Milk account (I signed up months and months ago but never used it) and started to play around. As my luck would have it, there was a post in their blog which explains one way to set up GTD in RTM. The post was very clearly written and having a guide to follow removed all the mental energy required to set up my own system. I set up the system as Doug recommended and as I was populating the list I already have some idea on additions I want to make (mainly to address energy levels and focus level) but will use the system as-is for now.

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7/22/08 update

I have not been using remember the milk regularly, at least with the GTD setup that was implemented. I find that I have been taking notes and collecting bits of information with either a quick note on my cell phone... or just writing it on a napkin. I have been using RTM as a more simple list... with different task tabs separating different buckets of information with no context or next action.

I find that this seems to be adequate for me as I am not one to go over my lists over and over and apply new NA tags as I complete tasks.

I will continue to use RTM as the task tab formats allow me to access different lists quickly next to each other.

Experiment 1: 7-hour transformation

2008-06-06T23:49:00.000-07:00

I think getting at least 7 hours of sleep will dramatically improve my day time functioning and mood. I know how highly innovative and ground breaking this idea sounds but bear with me ; )

Due to my far commute, early work hours, and social group demands, I'm often tired from lack of sleep. This is definitely not a brag about how little sleep I get as I hate it and often feel like garbage. I usually get 5 - 6 hours of sleep during the weekdays and around 8 hours on the weekends... this is definitely below what I need.

I'm going to start realistically and aim for 7 hours of sleep each weekday - more if possible. I've been keeping a sleep log for the past two weeks so I'm going to continue with that. I simply keep track of time spent on naps an night-sleep each day. I also give a 1-5 rating to 4 chunks of the day to indicate how I'm feeling at those times (5 = fully alert and focus and great mood 1 = about to drop asleep); this is to give some measure to how previous night(s) sleep affects me.

This experiment will begin tonight : ) I will have a full-update and progress check in two weeks (6/20/08)

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updated (7/17/08)

well it has been almost a full month past my update-date... unfortunately during this time I have not been able to hit the 7 hr mark. I averaged 6.22 hours of sleep from 6/6/08 (beginning of challenge) to 6/25/08, my last recorded date (I had to prepare for a week long trip to Japan and fell off recording metrics)

I will need some type of stronger trigger or goal reinforcement because though I committed to 7 hours of sleep priority I did not feel any motivation to actually apply willpower and scheduling to make it happen... see 7/17/08 reset post.

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2/24/09 update

Dang for the last couple months or so I've been sleeping early and getting 7-8 hrs a night (rarely dip below 6.5) Overall my mood is a lot better and I've been able to cope with pressure and stress fairly well.

A lot of it has to do with winter and how little light I get. I go to work dark and by the time I come home it is dark. By the time 8-9 o'clock rolls around it seems late and I'm ready to sleep. What I did have to do was cut down social time with others. By the time they're home and finish eating its pretty much my sleeping time. Kind of sucks but then again its not like there is a lot going on weeknights anyways.

Introductions

2008-06-06T23:33:00.000-07:00

I plan to use this blog to :

* track new methods/lifehacks that I want to try out

* explore random ideas I come up with

* post goals and track progress

* improve writing skills

* have a written record of thoughts and experiments